My first experiences as a solo female traveler in Europe at 26 left me hesitant to travel alone again. A decade later, I returned for a four-month trip and found the opposite—confidence, connection, and joy in exploring the world on my own terms.
The first time I travelled to Europe was at the age of 26 in 2008. I had been out of America, but only to Mexico and Canada. Those trips didn’t feel nearly as exotic as crossing the Pacific Ocean and arriving in Italy for the first time, alone. After landing in Rome and navigating to Termini and finding my way to my hostel, I remember wandering around Rome with Kate, who was going to be my roommate at a summer study abroad program in Orvieto, Italy. The memory that sticks with me is when we arrived in Orvieto. We were going to be living at Casa Selita for the summer, and our first view of Orvieto was after we emerged from the escalators that took us up to Orvieto. I remember emerging from underground and wandering around Orvieto for the first time feeling like I was in a fairy tale! Orvieto is an Etruscan hilltop town in Umbria, and the more I traveled around Italy, the more I appreciated the beauty of Orvieto.
As part of studying abroad, I took weekend trips away, and also travelled afterwards to see more of Europe. I had some experiences while I was alone that shook my confidence about solo travel for a long time. Maybe it was because I was in my 20’s and a tall blonde girl in Italy, maybe the Italian men have cleaned up their behavior since then (Elizabeth Gilbert actually talks about this in Eat, Pray, Love), or maybe I just learned how to recognize a scam and become a better traveler later. I’ll never know exactly why I had a hard time, but I did.
In Paris, I decided to take a long walk alone on our first day there. I walked from Passy along Avenue Kleber to the Arc de Triompe, along the Champes-Elysees, through Jardin des Tuleries, across the Passerelle Leopold-Sedar-Senghor, and back along the Seine. I was approached four times with the same scam. I still even remember the exact locations of some of them, the memories are that strong. Someone pretends to pick up a gold ring that they “found” on the ground and presents it to you. I don’t know what they are trying to do. I never fell for it and tried to grab it, or even engage with them. But after it happened four times, I felt like a target. I felt unsafe.
I also spent a few days solo in Sorrento after my study abroad program before heading off to Greece. On my first afternoon I walked to the downtown area of Sorrento from my hostel. A man pulled over in his car and showed me his dick, another man stopped on his motorcycle and asked me to get on, and another man approached me while I was sitting on a park bench and asked me to go somewhere with him. Again, I felt unsafe, unable to blend in, unable to be alone.
After that, I only traveled with friends. It is difficult to get others to commit to a long vacation, so I mostly took shorter trips, long girls weekends, weekends to weddings, and visiting family. I only took one two-week vacation in that time, a trip to New Zealand and Australia with friends. I did not return to Europe.
Ten Years Later…
After 10 years, I reached a breaking point in my career (and my life) and badly needed a break. I decided to go to Europe for a 4-month solo travel sabbatical. Talk about diving back in. I am happy to report a completely different experience. In Europe, generally, I feel as safe or safer than I do at home. It feels magically safe, easy to navigate, to get around on public transportation. I started in Portugal, spent time in Andalusia during Feria, went to Amsterdam for King’s Day, explored Ireland, I was in London when Harry and Meghan got married, I spent a month in Scandinavia in the summer, island hopped in Croatia, and went back to Orvieto. I hiked solo in Norway and rode a bike all over Copenhagen and finally felt like I looked like every other tall blonde girl in a cute romper on a bike and finally felt like I blended in. I spent two weeks in Italy and didn’t have any creepy Italian men asking me to get on their Vespa. I took a long walk alone along the Seine and a woman picked up a ring that she “found” on the ground and presented it to me in the palm of her hand with an exaggerated “Oooh La La!”. I laughed in her face on kept on walking.
In some ways I wish I had a better first experience traveling solo in Europe, I wish I had gotten back on the horse and tried again sooner. At the same time, I am thankful for the experience, and even more grateful to myself for trying again, for diving in for four months of solo travel in Europe. It made me a better traveler, and a more confident person.
On my four-month trip, I remember sitting in a bathroom in a hostel in Belfast, Ireland with a quote on the wall about trusting strangers. “Travel is rebellion in its purest form, we follow our heart, we free ourselves of labels, we lose control willingly, we love the unfamiliar, we trust strangers, we own only what we carry, we search for better questions not answers, we truly graduate, we sometimes choose never to return.” Honestly, I don’t know why that memory sticks in my brain, of all the things to remember about that trip, but I remember thinking about having to trust strangers, and you really need to for solo travel. Using your gut to decide who to trust when you are truly alone can bring about the most magical new relationships in a new place, including the one you have with yourself.
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